Request from a 16 year-old girl:

I will be driving to ____________ so can I have a parking permit?

My car tag # is __________ and my car is a 2006 red VW bug.

Thank you.

Dear 16 year-old Girl:

No, you may not have a parking permit because your car is 8 years newer than mine, is way cuter than mine, and is my favorite color. My car is white and your grandma wouldn’t be seen in it.  I have a master’s degree and have been working almost all of my life since I was 14, and I  have had only one even semi-sporty new car one time only, and by then I was in my 20’s and working full time.

When I was 16  I was working and going to college and high school. And paying for my own clothes. Because my dad would not. When  I got a car, my dad did co-sign for me, but that was the extent of his support.  I made every payment myself. And paid the insurance once I turned 18. And put all the gas in it.

I am glad to know you but you just happened to send me this request the same week my old car’s  door lock stopped working on the driver’s side, along with the remote keyless entry. The remote keyless entry was my favorite thing about my car. It helped me cope with other shortcomings. Your note has caused me to require repentance for the mean thoughts I’ve been having since I read it. Could you not have timed it better? I’m going on vacation in a couple of weeks; you could have sent it then.

I really like you and I’m sure I’ll get over this and get you a parking permit. Probably. In the meantime, I need you to hug your car every day and tell it how much you love it, how lucky you are to have it, and how undeserving you are. Because, trust me – you are. 

Best wishes,

Longsuffering Worthy Person