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She said I’m the kind of mom who

Doesn’t know what to do

In these situations.

I looked at her hard then and

Looked away at the crying baby with the

Bleeding  hand  and the sister

Who shouldn’t have to be mama too

And the other three staring up at me

And I judged, hard.

There are many things I understand

But a mama who is useless isn’t

One of them.

I wiped and bandaged and comforted

Except for her, who I could not

look at or speak to

after that declaration.

They all recovered but later,

 my head hurt

From the questions I couldn’t ask

and the answers that are impossible –  

Why would a woman work so hard

At producing so much

of what she can’t care for? 

How do you avoid learning

With such an abundance of

opportunity?  And

How does it feel to hurt but

remain untouched

 by the one who brought you

to the dance?


We visited another church today; what else is new?  This one was “happy clappy” as our Irish friends would say. Meaning charismatic, only in this case, it truly was only a lot of clapping, movin’ and groovin’. Even the pastor did a bouncy jump up and down like-you’re-at-a-rock-concert thing. Of course, I was standing next to ‘Stick’ and ‘In the Mud’, otherwise Known as my family members.  So I kept it under control.

Friendly people. Good band. Didn’t recognize any of the choruses. Not a pew Bible nor hymnal to be seen anywhere. Nor a cross, for that matter. Which is oddly dissonant with the welcome packet handout that described “impassioned orthodoxy” as a chief descriptor of the church planting organization that is behind this church. Oh well. I wasn’t bothered; just couldn’t help noticing.

Afterwards, our lunch conversation centered around the fact that we have visited thirty gazillion churches in this town and we could not think of a ONE that had a service under 90 minutes.  A moment of silence for all those long-suffering nursery and children’s church workers! Wow.  In this one respect, my husband would be happy to find a radical departure from the norm.

Next week, Presbyterian. Hello, pipe organ and one hour service. Meet my family – they are so happy to see you.

If you build it………………..











Just might come!!




Finally, I have an excuse for the closeness I’ve always felt with Kevin Costner.

The dream, the work, the spending of frivolous dollars , the passion for something bigger than oneself,

 the lemonade shared with James Earl Jones………………we did it!!  Begone ye 

scoffers, pessimists, and ne’er do wells……………

Bring on the monarchs, baby!

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"A biography of any literary person ought to deal at length with what he read and when, for in some sense, 'we are what we read.'" --Joseph Epstein, quoted in Proust and the Squid, by Maryanne Wolf ******************************************
July 2009
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What Flower Are You?

I am a

What Flower
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